Thursday

Thursday was filled with business preparing for the funeral. I had a host of wonderful ladies who helped by recording songs, searching for songs and poems,  tying poems to the Chuck the Trucks, helping me make the slideshows that were to be shown at the funeral. It was going to be a lovely tribute to him and all of these friends new and old were a lovely tribute to God and his goodness shining down on me in this impossible time. There were not as many tears this day as we stayed so busy. This night as the night before I would stay up until early morning hours preparing everything. As people came, I would share what I had worked on with them and we would cry because of the loss, but also smile because of the wonderful memories. Staring at so many pictures for days helped to dull the image in my head of him lying there stiff and cold with blood pooled in his face in his bed. Such a horrible image that I still pray will just go away. For some reason, there seems to be a need for it now. Who am I to question. At this point I am just going through the motions, surviving, trying to be busy.