Flowers

So, today I had an opportunity to be in town with a few minutes to spare and I decided to go to Hobby Lobby to get some flowers for Jeffrey's visiting spot as someone had brought it to my attention that the fresh ones were ready to be removed. I thought this would be a simple enough task. Go in, pick out some pretty flowers, arrange them all neatly, put them in place. After a few minutes of strolling the flower section, I realize I have no idea how to go about this. I don't know what grave flowers are supposed to look like. My mother, my Pepa, and my dearest kindred spirit friend have all passed, but I have never returned to their graves because I know they are simply not there. I have always thought it silly to put flowers up for someone who will never know they are there. So, I'm stumped. I get totally overwhelmed and have to call a dear friend crying and she kindly talked me down and although she didn't have much advice, she gave me direction to go with and I was able to pull it together and gather some pretty flower stems. Of course, I want it to be perfect, because although grave flowers were never important to me before, now it is simply all I can do for my son, and certainly I want it done right! I indecicively ran around having a pity party for myself thinking no mother should ever have to do this for her child. But, finally came up with what I think will end up nice. Of course, then I went to the cemetary on my way home and it isn't going to be anything like what is on the others, but I guess it's okay to be different. I owe thanks to someone who had come by and placed a rogue runaway bouquet on Jeffrey's visiting place for me. It added such cheer, not just because of the color, but also just knowing someone cared enought to do so. I wandered around the cemetary looking at other graves and noticed several other young children's visiting spots. I didn't see their mothers buried next to them or laying sprawled over the top, so I guess they have found a way to go on. Lord, please help me find that way.