On Wednesday....

When Wednesday came, we finally got a call that Jeffrey's shell was back from the Little Rock. We left Shelby with my Dad and Susan,who were so good to be here faithfully each day,  while we went to the funeral home. This visit was better. A different man, Roy, helped us. His voice was easier. He was quick to accommodate and made it almost all the way through our visit before he broke down sobbing imagining our pain as he thought of his own two year old child. This tragedy touched the hearts of so many as any parent can imagine what it would be like to lose a child. We were told we would have to put a hat on Jeffrey's head as they had not done a good job with the autopsy. So, from there we went to Wal-Mart to find a hat and a couple of other things we would need for the funeral now that we were thinking of it. It would give us something to focus on, something to do to keep us from fumbling around so lost. We would also purchase all of the Chuck the Trucks we could find to give out at the funeral as reminders of him. Next, we ended up at the mall to try to pick up a ring Jeff had given me for Christmas that we had dropped off to be sized the night before the tragedy. It was a hard reminder of that last evening we had spent with him, rushing around with our own agendas, taking for granted the children that are only here on loan from God. Maybe I missed something that would have let me know his sickness should have been taken more seriously. But, I had to push those thoughts aside and stand firm in faith knowing that it was in God's time that he was taken and He has a plan for all of this for ALL things work together for the good of those that love the Lord. There has been great comfort from God. It is so wonderful to have so many people, friends and strangers alike that are praying for us, sending us scriptures and words of hope. I would never want to go through one good day without God and certainly not through a time like this. My only comfort is to know He is in control of this all. He took Jeffrey home, He has us in His hands now and He will never leave us nor forsake us. There is still little understanding, but I know He's got this. Jeffrey is in Heaven literally in Jesus arms, but the wonderful thing about Jesus arms is they are also extended down holding us here, carrying us through each day, surrounding us with love and friends and helping us try to find a new normal..a new life without Jeffrey here. Jeffrey filled all of our future plans and it is so hard to face the future without him, but with God all things are possible and we will just take it one day...one breath at at time and I know He will bring us through. To forsake God in this time, to blame Him or question Him would, for me, remove all hope.