Ashes to Ashes

I have been upset lately about the fact that the cemetery won't let us reserve a spot next to Jeffrey that we might be placed next to him. This led me to ask at the monument place last week if it was common to have bodies moved to a different location. He said it does happen. So this morning, I called the funeral home to find out if they had placed a vault around Jeffrey's casket. Jeff had told them not to, but somehow in my feeble mind, I just thought they would anyways. They didn't. This made me very distraught to think of him down there in a wooden box that will soon begin to deteriorate and one day will rot through and his little shell will be surrounded by dirt and bugs which will deteriorate his body as well. I know that this is the way God intended it. He first created man out of the dust of the earth and because of sin entered death, and to the dust we will return. "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."-- Genesis 3: 17-19 (KJV) From the time we are born, we are destined to go back to the ground we were created from. I know that this is just his earthly body and is not at all where he really is now, but my flesh just longs for something tangible. Something I can hold on to. Something I understand. So, I called the cemetery guy to just see if there couldn't be an exception made about saving the spot next to him, especially since I have seen several exceptions after walking around. But, he told me that was their policy and it had been every since he had been in charge. It seems cold, but I guess I can see the problem. Quickly, the whole cemetery could be reserved and people do move on and they would be left with empty reserved spots and no room for people who wanted to bury their loved ones there immediately. I guess it all is silly. The problem of wanting to be buried next to him is only something to fret about while I'm here. I will never know or care what they do with my body when I'm gone. I have the hope and assurance he is in heaven and when my spirit leaves this earth it won't matter what they do with the shell left behind, because I will already be there seeing his sweet face again. I know all of this, but it so hard to cling to something I don't remember seeing. I guess this is just where you have to really suck it all up and cling to faith alone. But a thought in your head is little comfort for an aching in your heart. God and Jesus definitely had the advantage here when they went through this situation. God knew His Son was not leaving Him but instead was coming home to be with Him. Jesus remembered God and heaven and had the assurance of going back there, which puzzles me as to why he would ask for this cup to pass from him. Was he clinging to this world since He was in the flesh, like our flesh does? Or was he just wishing for a simpler death? It seems as I am so intensely longing for heaven now without any recollection of it, how much more would he want to go remembering where he was going and trading this worlds sorrows for the glory of heaven. Yet another thing that I won't understand until heaven.