Monday, August 1, 2011

Packing Away Clothes

I packed away Jeffrey's clothes today. I became nervous a couple of weeks ago about bugs getting into them and eating holes in them, so I have wanted to get a tupperware container for them. I wanted it to be clear so I could still open the closet and see them there. I went and got one this morning. It was actually harder than I thought it would be. No tears, but I got a little light headed and woozy as the memories flooded my mind. I tried to be all business, but I couldn't help but see him there filling out his Spongebob pj's, his little socks and of course his red Christmas sweater as I pulled them out of the drawers and then his overalls and button up shirts that had been hanging in the closet. I don't know if the lid to that box will ever be opened again. Maybe I will get them out from time to time to smell them and hold them against my face to feel him close. I thought I'd get rid of the diapers too, but for now they are just going to have to wait. I don't know why there is a crazy part of me that thinks if I hold on hard enough he will come back.